This I Know

I know enough about you

Barely enough about you

To rub two nickels together.

It seems

That would be enough

About You

to last small Lifetimes

held closely—

Guarded—but I can’t help

Bauble and spill over

towards anyone

Even you and so it guzzles over

 

I’ve made such ordinary mistakes

Extraordinary in their repercussions

Almost like looking out

And seeing the catacombs

The shameless manner

through which

I’ve leveled life

It’s staggering

Image that I’ve dragged

Full tilt

into the sun

I thought we would meet there

I was waiting, panting, at every corner

I fully believed in things that

I couldn’t see

And had no reassurance of

Fully compelled myself into you

Without your attention

 

I’ve traveled towards the city on so many

Nameless occasions that

the day

I severed

it was routine.

Tar black because it is always that night

Before the city lit up only with the

Mobile glow

I reached more times than I could remember,

And everything was panic, anxiety. All of these

Words mean separate things to me now

And I couldn’t remember how it triggered

But within the silence I found myself

Babbling and sobbing and beaten

Because I knew that you were lost,

Even beyond me,

My grieving

Because you said you would protect yourself

And I, inadequate, tried to do it for you

How is it possible to spiral so completely

Away from you

In what seems like two days

I am on orbit

And centered

No longer revolving around you

That is simply revolving around I

Let me know if you are in orbit

Whenever I leave it feels like breaking

Splintering, something stuck in my soles

Behind me but I can only go forward

With one behind me

Remembering that

When you think of turning round

Reminded that

You found what you’re looking for

Something so small it was

Almost invisible

But I saw it,

Every time.

Being Mortal Book Review

“Tell your secret to the wind, but don’t blame it for telling the trees.” – Kahlil Gibran

 

Working with

two badass

females

consultants and lawyers

Who

Showed Me

What They Could

 

Busing tables and bearing witness

to senior abuse at the nursing “home”

Bearing Abuse from

Vets With

Missing

Limbs

War Heros

Torn Ligaments

Who only knew my name

When it was

Nigger And Girl

They remembered my cousin’s

 

She made them.

 

American Seniors

never live alone

When they do,

that’s where they pass.

 

Neighbors don’t talk

They didn’t even know

What happened as you aged

In this modern world

With no

Children

One Son

Two Daughters

One Daughter

Two Sons

 

Almost Eternal Youth

Themselves

Who

Were

Warned

To Hire Help

And Prioritize

 

Raising their own fa mi lie s

Succeeding in their declining lives Career

 

Over

Being present for their babies

And so cannot Raise their grandparents

A business of its own

 

When your sooo fucking old

You pack memories into ice

turn them this way

And that

Smoking clove cigarettes and swindling colors

Was all you ever learned to do well.

 

Still can’t bring yourself to care

Because you don’t really  want to remember

 

The Pain

Of

What

Freedom

Felt

Like

 

Ancient old women

Who knit afghans

And whittle pottery

 

And doodle nonsense

And murmur stories

to the wind

 

I felt dementia In My Mind

Walked Into A Room

Stared for minutes

Couldn’t

Remember

What I came

For

But still though poems

Googled think pieces

 

Ancient Old Men

Do what they can

to stay virulent

Still leer at young

cats

Pick fresh

pickles

But Who

Will listen to you babble?

The partner

You Never Found

Died of Boredom

From

Your

Bullshit

And the One

You’ve Always Had

Already

memorized

Every one of your stupid ass stories

 

I almost always respected my elders,

Especially

when I knew they were wrong.

 

The Cult of You (th)

Infected almost the entire world

Neu Visions for aging

And

Stemming Dying

As Well

 

You can re-mix being old

as much as you want

you still old

As Hell

Can you remember the days of your youth?

When you were careless and free? Too careless, too free,

 

We

Sometimes

Listened \\

To

Our

Elders

 

But knew

Age is but a number

You can’t up add

At a glance

 

I was the only one counting

The 40 virgins stay being crusty old men

 

Wealthy Billionaires

Enjoy

Your

[         ]

As the

Twilight

Dawns

And

Cataract’d Eyes

Dim

 

The

Illegitimate

Houses of

Scheming

Selfish

Queens

And Their

Abusive

Mad

Kings

 

Are Always Destined

To Reign

Themselves

Into

The

Ground

 

https://www.amazon.com/Being-Mortal-Medicine-What-Matters-ebook/dp/B00JCW0BCY

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0405422/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anchorman:_The_Legend_of_Ron_Burgundy

https://www.verywell.com/age-related-diseases-2223996

http://www.embarrassingproblems.com/problem/wind/farting-belching-reasons

http://changingaging.org/author/wthomas/

http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/Cersei_Lannister

http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/Robert_Baratheon

http://health.usnews.com/best-nursing-homes

http://www.hhnmag.com/articles/7560-hospitals-expanding-their-global-reach