This I Know

I know enough about you

Barely enough about you

To rub two nickels together.

It seems

That would be enough

About You

to last small Lifetimes

held closely—

Guarded—but I can’t help

Bauble and spill over

towards anyone

Even you and so it guzzles over

 

I’ve made such ordinary mistakes

Extraordinary in their repercussions

Almost like looking out

And seeing the catacombs

The shameless manner

through which

I’ve leveled life

It’s staggering

Image that I’ve dragged

Full tilt

into the sun

I thought we would meet there

I was waiting, panting, at every corner

I fully believed in things that

I couldn’t see

And had no reassurance of

Fully compelled myself into you

Without your attention

 

I’ve traveled towards the city on so many

Nameless occasions that

the day

I severed

it was routine.

Tar black because it is always that night

Before the city lit up only with the

Mobile glow

I reached more times than I could remember,

And everything was panic, anxiety. All of these

Words mean separate things to me now

And I couldn’t remember how it triggered

But within the silence I found myself

Babbling and sobbing and beaten

Because I knew that you were lost,

Even beyond me,

My grieving

Because you said you would protect yourself

And I, inadequate, tried to do it for you

How is it possible to spiral so completely

Away from you

In what seems like two days

I am on orbit

And centered

No longer revolving around you

That is simply revolving around I

Let me know if you are in orbit

Whenever I leave it feels like breaking

Splintering, something stuck in my soles

Behind me but I can only go forward

With one behind me

Remembering that

When you think of turning round

Reminded that

You found what you’re looking for

Something so small it was

Almost invisible

But I saw it,

Every time.

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